Find out who your REAL friends are

There is nothing like having a crisis to weed out the casual acquaintances with the true "be there for you no matter what" friends. It's one thing when people want to come hang out in your really cool house with the really cool pool. Or spend the weekend with you out on the really cool houseboat on the lake. But let a little thing like "bankruptcy" or "foreclosure" come along, and most of those people suddenly have much better things to do with their time. They begin to avoid your phone calls for fear of having to spend the weekend helping you move out of your now foreclosed home.

When you are at the bottom is when you can spot your true friends. The ones you know you can call up at a moments notice to give you a ride to the doctors office because your car is now on the repo lot. Or you can pick up the phone at 3 a.m. and have someone to talk to because you can't sleep and you are about to have a nervous breakdown. The ones who invite you to come over for dinner on Saturday night because they know you don't have enough food in the house to last until payday.

These are the people who have never judged you for what you have - or don't have. They have always liked you just for who you are. You just never knew it! Sometimes it takes losing everything to be able to look around and see whats left. The things that are left are the things that matter. You see, good things always come from the lows in life. They are learning experiences, although it never feels like it at the time.

Back in 2005, I walked away from an 18 year marriage with nothing but my 3 kids. I had suffered through an abusive marriage because I was afraid I couldn't do it on my own. It took me many years of building up the courage to walk away. In the midst of that low point in my life, I couldn't see the other side of the mountain. All I could do was keep going and pray for the best. After 6 months of being on my own with my kids, I met a man who had 2 small kids of his own. We starting dating and only a month later the kids mom, his ex, was killed in a car accident.

We are now happily married and have the responsibility of raising all 5 of our kids, but we are doing it together. I often think back at the timing of it all and I am amazed at how things always happen for a reason. Even when we can't possibly see how any good can come of a situation, it happens.

I know you can't see past this right now, but I can assure you that you will come out the other side a better person for it. And you will have people there with you that you will know without a doubt that they are your true friends.

Until next time, keep you chin up and don't give up!

Trina

Working with what you already have

Okay. So you have lost everything and are faced with the challenge of starting over again. Instead of focusing on everything lost, lets try looking at what we have left to work with.

What you have left doesn't necessarily have to be material possessions. Look at your talents. Look where your passions lie. What was it that you really wanted to be when you grew up? All of us have dreams when we are young that get pushed to the wayside for one reason or another. Maybe someone told us it was stupid. Or the old "you will never be able to make a living doing THAT"! Or maybe you just never had enough confidence in yourself to actually follow through with your plans. Guess what? HERE'S YOUR CHANCE! What have you got to lose?

I want you to sit down tonight and really think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Write it down. There is something powerful about putting words on paper. Once you get it written down, make a list of what you need to do to get yourself closer to your goal. Number your list in order of importance and turn it into a checklist. Suddenly, you have something to work towards. It is amazing what happens when you give yourself specific goals. It suddenly becomes doable.

Finally, don't let anyone talk you out of this. Be careful who you share your list with. You want to surround yourself with people who will encourage instead of discourage. Most people want to pick you dreams apart. These are the same people who left their dreams by the wayside and are settling for what life hands them. Like I said in a previous post, you only get one shot at this thing called life. Don't let it just happen to you.

Being at the bottom is the perfect place be to turn your life around and make it something worth living. Set your goals high and pull out all the stops.

Until next time, keep your chin up and lets get busy living our dreams.

Trina

Your never too old to start over

Something struck me recently as I was helping some friends pack their things and move out of their foreclosed home. They seemed to think it was the end of the world. Granted, it was very sad to see them losing everything they had worked their entire lives for, but there was a cloud of complete despair over them. It was as if they were supposed to just crawl up in a corner and wait to die. The end of their world. All hope was lost. Their house auctioned off. All of their beloved "stuff" sold. Nothing left but each other.

The easiest way to start over is always from scratch! It is so much easier to construct a new house to your liking than it is to remodel an existing one. You are starting with a clean slate. If you have hit rock bottom, lost everything you have, why not see that as a chance for a fresh new start. How exciting to think that you can stop, rethink your life, make changes accordingly, then just start over. When you are at the bottom, you have nothing to lose.

My husband and I have recently been tossing around the idea of traveling around the country for a year. We don't own our home. We both have careers that have turned stale for us, and we both feel like we have not had the opportunity to travel the country and really see what is out there. Our children are young, but can be home schooled for a year. At the end of the year, we can use our experiences to decide what life holds for us next. We have made the decision to not sit back and watch life pass us by while we are feeling out of control. We are making a fresh start.

No matter where you are in life, you can choose to make a fresh start for yourself and your family. I'm not saying it is an easy thing. We plan to use the next 12 months to research and plan. It is not something we are jumping into. But if life decides it's time for us to jump, we will be ready to take the plunge.

Take a few moments to sit back and evaluate where life has landed you. If you have been knocked down and feel out of control, make the decision to take a hold of your life again. You only get one shot at this. Don't have regrets later. Where will you be in the next 5 years? Five years will come whether you plan for it or not. If you do nothing, you will still be right where you are now.

Once again, until next time, keep your chin held high and remember. We will get through this thing!

Trina