Goodbye 2009. Hello 2010. One of the best things about welcoming in a New Year is always the hope and promise of a fresh new start. For all of you who have struggled through a difficult year (you know who you are), here is your chance to put all the yuck from the past year behind you and begin the new year with a renewed attitude. In reality, that's what life boils down to - attitude. Go on, give it a try. Get up tomorrow morning and before your feet hit the floor, convince yourself that no matter what, it's going to be an awesome day. Now, you may have to give yourself some reminders throughout the day. It won't happen automatically. But you will be surprised at how much better you will handle things tomorrow. Go on and give it a try, and be sure to let me know how it went. I want to hear, good or bad, the effect it had on your day.
Now get ready to usher in the new year, and your fresh new start. Happy New Year everyone!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Merry Christmas Everyone
As the Christmas rush falls upon us, I hope we all make time to slow down, take a deep breath, and remember why we are celebrating this holiday. I dread Black Friday. Only because I know what it brings. It brings out the worst in people. Not everyone. But most everyone. The stores are packed with cranky shoppers who cant find that perfect gift they are looking for. I'm not even sure most people know what the perfect gift is. They just know they cant find it! The poor cashiers are ready to pull their hair out because they are having to deal with all the rude, hurried shoppers who cant find what they are looking for.
I really just want to crawl into a hole and wait for January 1 to roll around. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas anyway. I love the decorations, the tree, the fresh baked breads and carols on the radio. I even love the corny Christmas movies that come on every night. I especially love the fact that Jesus was born and I know he loves me. I wish we would all take more time to reflect upon that. We are way more concerned about what little Suzie is going to think about her present when she opens it. It stresses people out. That's not what Christmas is supposed to be about.
Now if you are here because you are one of the unfortunate people who is jobless, homeless, car less or all of the above, this is definitely a stressful time for you. It doesn't need to be. You are focusing on the wrong things. Stop worring about not having money for presents, and focus on what Christmas is really about.
My husband and I took the kids to a play in town put on by some of the local college students. It was called "Every Christmas Story Ever Told". It was cheap, fun and hilarious. We came up with every excuse not to go at first. There was too much to do, the kids had school the next day, it was waaaay to cold outside. We finally decided the excuses were only going to hinder a lovely night out together. We went and we were so glad we did.
Take some time to find inexpensive things to do with your family to make some holiday memories. Lots of churches have free programs this time of year and from my experience, some of them are quite good! Don't spend the entire holiday feeling sorry for yourself and finding excuses not to enjoy yourself. Don't let the frenzied holiday shoppers get you down. Just keep telling yourself, January 1 will be here before I know it and it will once again be safe to shop!
Until next time, Merry Christmas and keep your head held high.
Trina
I really just want to crawl into a hole and wait for January 1 to roll around. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas anyway. I love the decorations, the tree, the fresh baked breads and carols on the radio. I even love the corny Christmas movies that come on every night. I especially love the fact that Jesus was born and I know he loves me. I wish we would all take more time to reflect upon that. We are way more concerned about what little Suzie is going to think about her present when she opens it. It stresses people out. That's not what Christmas is supposed to be about.
Now if you are here because you are one of the unfortunate people who is jobless, homeless, car less or all of the above, this is definitely a stressful time for you. It doesn't need to be. You are focusing on the wrong things. Stop worring about not having money for presents, and focus on what Christmas is really about.
My husband and I took the kids to a play in town put on by some of the local college students. It was called "Every Christmas Story Ever Told". It was cheap, fun and hilarious. We came up with every excuse not to go at first. There was too much to do, the kids had school the next day, it was waaaay to cold outside. We finally decided the excuses were only going to hinder a lovely night out together. We went and we were so glad we did.
Take some time to find inexpensive things to do with your family to make some holiday memories. Lots of churches have free programs this time of year and from my experience, some of them are quite good! Don't spend the entire holiday feeling sorry for yourself and finding excuses not to enjoy yourself. Don't let the frenzied holiday shoppers get you down. Just keep telling yourself, January 1 will be here before I know it and it will once again be safe to shop!
Until next time, Merry Christmas and keep your head held high.
Trina
Monday, December 7, 2009
Telling your kids no -- harder for some than others!
We all want whats best for our kids. This statement means lots of different things to people. Whats really best for our kids? Is it giving them all we never had? Is it giving them every opportunity to experience all they can in order for them to figure out what they really want in life? Is it never telling them no? Or, in doing what we feel is best for them, are we creating little people who will never learn to survive on their own in life because they have been sheltered from reality?
The reality here is.....you are broke. You can no longer afford to give them everything under the sun. As difficult as this may seem for you, your children will be much better off in the long run if you allow them to face reality and come to terms with it in their own way. By continuing to let them drain your pocket, you are giving them false hope - a false sense of security. You are allowing them to believe that everything is ok and it is not. How can they be expected to trust you, if they wake up one day and suddenly everything they thought was true, is not?
If you allow them to make sacrifices along with you, you are giving them the strength they will need later in life to handle circumstance such as these. It will be good for them to know that they have contributed in some way to the well being of the household. Sure, they are not going to be happy about having to give up some of their extra curricular activities. No one likes having to give things up. You were not happy about having to give up -- your job, your car, your home, your sense of being able to provide for your family. The hard fact is -- you did it anyway and here you still are. The important thing is for them to see that everything is going to be okay. Things always manage to work themselves out and by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and pushing on, you are showing them how to cope in tough times.
Do yourself and your kids a favor and tell them no. No is good for kids - sometimes just because.
As always, keep you head up high until next time.
Trina
The reality here is.....you are broke. You can no longer afford to give them everything under the sun. As difficult as this may seem for you, your children will be much better off in the long run if you allow them to face reality and come to terms with it in their own way. By continuing to let them drain your pocket, you are giving them false hope - a false sense of security. You are allowing them to believe that everything is ok and it is not. How can they be expected to trust you, if they wake up one day and suddenly everything they thought was true, is not?
If you allow them to make sacrifices along with you, you are giving them the strength they will need later in life to handle circumstance such as these. It will be good for them to know that they have contributed in some way to the well being of the household. Sure, they are not going to be happy about having to give up some of their extra curricular activities. No one likes having to give things up. You were not happy about having to give up -- your job, your car, your home, your sense of being able to provide for your family. The hard fact is -- you did it anyway and here you still are. The important thing is for them to see that everything is going to be okay. Things always manage to work themselves out and by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and pushing on, you are showing them how to cope in tough times.
Do yourself and your kids a favor and tell them no. No is good for kids - sometimes just because.
As always, keep you head up high until next time.
Trina
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Find out who your REAL friends are
There is nothing like having a crisis to weed out the casual acquaintances with the true "be there for you no matter what" friends. It's one thing when people want to come hang out in your really cool house with the really cool pool. Or spend the weekend with you out on the really cool houseboat on the lake. But let a little thing like "bankruptcy" or "foreclosure" come along, and most of those people suddenly have much better things to do with their time. They begin to avoid your phone calls for fear of having to spend the weekend helping you move out of your now foreclosed home.
When you are at the bottom is when you can spot your true friends. The ones you know you can call up at a moments notice to give you a ride to the doctors office because your car is now on the repo lot. Or you can pick up the phone at 3 a.m. and have someone to talk to because you can't sleep and you are about to have a nervous breakdown. The ones who invite you to come over for dinner on Saturday night because they know you don't have enough food in the house to last until payday.
These are the people who have never judged you for what you have - or don't have. They have always liked you just for who you are. You just never knew it! Sometimes it takes losing everything to be able to look around and see whats left. The things that are left are the things that matter. You see, good things always come from the lows in life. They are learning experiences, although it never feels like it at the time.
Back in 2005, I walked away from an 18 year marriage with nothing but my 3 kids. I had suffered through an abusive marriage because I was afraid I couldn't do it on my own. It took me many years of building up the courage to walk away. In the midst of that low point in my life, I couldn't see the other side of the mountain. All I could do was keep going and pray for the best. After 6 months of being on my own with my kids, I met a man who had 2 small kids of his own. We starting dating and only a month later the kids mom, his ex, was killed in a car accident.
We are now happily married and have the responsibility of raising all 5 of our kids, but we are doing it together. I often think back at the timing of it all and I am amazed at how things always happen for a reason. Even when we can't possibly see how any good can come of a situation, it happens.
I know you can't see past this right now, but I can assure you that you will come out the other side a better person for it. And you will have people there with you that you will know without a doubt that they are your true friends.
Until next time, keep you chin up and don't give up!
Trina
When you are at the bottom is when you can spot your true friends. The ones you know you can call up at a moments notice to give you a ride to the doctors office because your car is now on the repo lot. Or you can pick up the phone at 3 a.m. and have someone to talk to because you can't sleep and you are about to have a nervous breakdown. The ones who invite you to come over for dinner on Saturday night because they know you don't have enough food in the house to last until payday.
These are the people who have never judged you for what you have - or don't have. They have always liked you just for who you are. You just never knew it! Sometimes it takes losing everything to be able to look around and see whats left. The things that are left are the things that matter. You see, good things always come from the lows in life. They are learning experiences, although it never feels like it at the time.
Back in 2005, I walked away from an 18 year marriage with nothing but my 3 kids. I had suffered through an abusive marriage because I was afraid I couldn't do it on my own. It took me many years of building up the courage to walk away. In the midst of that low point in my life, I couldn't see the other side of the mountain. All I could do was keep going and pray for the best. After 6 months of being on my own with my kids, I met a man who had 2 small kids of his own. We starting dating and only a month later the kids mom, his ex, was killed in a car accident.
We are now happily married and have the responsibility of raising all 5 of our kids, but we are doing it together. I often think back at the timing of it all and I am amazed at how things always happen for a reason. Even when we can't possibly see how any good can come of a situation, it happens.
I know you can't see past this right now, but I can assure you that you will come out the other side a better person for it. And you will have people there with you that you will know without a doubt that they are your true friends.
Until next time, keep you chin up and don't give up!
Trina
Friday, October 16, 2009
Working with what you already have
Okay. So you have lost everything and are faced with the challenge of starting over again. Instead of focusing on everything lost, lets try looking at what we have left to work with.
What you have left doesn't necessarily have to be material possessions. Look at your talents. Look where your passions lie. What was it that you really wanted to be when you grew up? All of us have dreams when we are young that get pushed to the wayside for one reason or another. Maybe someone told us it was stupid. Or the old "you will never be able to make a living doing THAT"! Or maybe you just never had enough confidence in yourself to actually follow through with your plans. Guess what? HERE'S YOUR CHANCE! What have you got to lose?
I want you to sit down tonight and really think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Write it down. There is something powerful about putting words on paper. Once you get it written down, make a list of what you need to do to get yourself closer to your goal. Number your list in order of importance and turn it into a checklist. Suddenly, you have something to work towards. It is amazing what happens when you give yourself specific goals. It suddenly becomes doable.
Finally, don't let anyone talk you out of this. Be careful who you share your list with. You want to surround yourself with people who will encourage instead of discourage. Most people want to pick you dreams apart. These are the same people who left their dreams by the wayside and are settling for what life hands them. Like I said in a previous post, you only get one shot at this thing called life. Don't let it just happen to you.
Being at the bottom is the perfect place be to turn your life around and make it something worth living. Set your goals high and pull out all the stops.
Until next time, keep your chin up and lets get busy living our dreams.
Trina
What you have left doesn't necessarily have to be material possessions. Look at your talents. Look where your passions lie. What was it that you really wanted to be when you grew up? All of us have dreams when we are young that get pushed to the wayside for one reason or another. Maybe someone told us it was stupid. Or the old "you will never be able to make a living doing THAT"! Or maybe you just never had enough confidence in yourself to actually follow through with your plans. Guess what? HERE'S YOUR CHANCE! What have you got to lose?
I want you to sit down tonight and really think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Write it down. There is something powerful about putting words on paper. Once you get it written down, make a list of what you need to do to get yourself closer to your goal. Number your list in order of importance and turn it into a checklist. Suddenly, you have something to work towards. It is amazing what happens when you give yourself specific goals. It suddenly becomes doable.
Finally, don't let anyone talk you out of this. Be careful who you share your list with. You want to surround yourself with people who will encourage instead of discourage. Most people want to pick you dreams apart. These are the same people who left their dreams by the wayside and are settling for what life hands them. Like I said in a previous post, you only get one shot at this thing called life. Don't let it just happen to you.
Being at the bottom is the perfect place be to turn your life around and make it something worth living. Set your goals high and pull out all the stops.
Until next time, keep your chin up and lets get busy living our dreams.
Trina
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Your never too old to start over
Something struck me recently as I was helping some friends pack their things and move out of their foreclosed home. They seemed to think it was the end of the world. Granted, it was very sad to see them losing everything they had worked their entire lives for, but there was a cloud of complete despair over them. It was as if they were supposed to just crawl up in a corner and wait to die. The end of their world. All hope was lost. Their house auctioned off. All of their beloved "stuff" sold. Nothing left but each other.
The easiest way to start over is always from scratch! It is so much easier to construct a new house to your liking than it is to remodel an existing one. You are starting with a clean slate. If you have hit rock bottom, lost everything you have, why not see that as a chance for a fresh new start. How exciting to think that you can stop, rethink your life, make changes accordingly, then just start over. When you are at the bottom, you have nothing to lose.
My husband and I have recently been tossing around the idea of traveling around the country for a year. We don't own our home. We both have careers that have turned stale for us, and we both feel like we have not had the opportunity to travel the country and really see what is out there. Our children are young, but can be home schooled for a year. At the end of the year, we can use our experiences to decide what life holds for us next. We have made the decision to not sit back and watch life pass us by while we are feeling out of control. We are making a fresh start.
No matter where you are in life, you can choose to make a fresh start for yourself and your family. I'm not saying it is an easy thing. We plan to use the next 12 months to research and plan. It is not something we are jumping into. But if life decides it's time for us to jump, we will be ready to take the plunge.
Take a few moments to sit back and evaluate where life has landed you. If you have been knocked down and feel out of control, make the decision to take a hold of your life again. You only get one shot at this. Don't have regrets later. Where will you be in the next 5 years? Five years will come whether you plan for it or not. If you do nothing, you will still be right where you are now.
Once again, until next time, keep your chin held high and remember. We will get through this thing!
Trina
The easiest way to start over is always from scratch! It is so much easier to construct a new house to your liking than it is to remodel an existing one. You are starting with a clean slate. If you have hit rock bottom, lost everything you have, why not see that as a chance for a fresh new start. How exciting to think that you can stop, rethink your life, make changes accordingly, then just start over. When you are at the bottom, you have nothing to lose.
My husband and I have recently been tossing around the idea of traveling around the country for a year. We don't own our home. We both have careers that have turned stale for us, and we both feel like we have not had the opportunity to travel the country and really see what is out there. Our children are young, but can be home schooled for a year. At the end of the year, we can use our experiences to decide what life holds for us next. We have made the decision to not sit back and watch life pass us by while we are feeling out of control. We are making a fresh start.
No matter where you are in life, you can choose to make a fresh start for yourself and your family. I'm not saying it is an easy thing. We plan to use the next 12 months to research and plan. It is not something we are jumping into. But if life decides it's time for us to jump, we will be ready to take the plunge.
Take a few moments to sit back and evaluate where life has landed you. If you have been knocked down and feel out of control, make the decision to take a hold of your life again. You only get one shot at this. Don't have regrets later. Where will you be in the next 5 years? Five years will come whether you plan for it or not. If you do nothing, you will still be right where you are now.
Once again, until next time, keep your chin held high and remember. We will get through this thing!
Trina
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Ok, I'm broke -- now what?
The last 2 years have been so hard on many of us. First, gas prices shot through the roof. We scrambled to find the extra cash to fuel up just to get to work and home. The price of a tank of gas now double what it was. Those of us who budgeted weekly for gas expenses began to feel the pinch. Some choose to downsize their vehicle to a smaller, more fuel efficient model. Some of us (including me) car pooled. It could be an inconvenience at times, but so was starving to death from lack of funds! Long distance trips were limited to practical and essential. We began to hear of independent truckers selling their rigs because they could no longer afford to fuel them up.
Because people could no longer afford to splurge on longer trips, and cash was tighter for most, the economy also began to feel the pinch. Just a little at first, but even after gas prices began to drop back down to "OK, this is much better", we started to see the effects. The price of food began to rise. Who remembers paying $7 for a bottle of cooking oil?
Then the worst. The layoffs began . Factories and businesses started shutting down their doors, leaving families scambling for work. Breadwinners laid off from jobs where they were already struggling to make ends meet. Unemployment lines so long, the employees there could not keep up with the demand, causing checks to be months and months away. Home foreclosures started to become a daily occurance. People were losing everything very quickly.
This has hit me very close to home, as I am sure it has for alot of us. Many of my friends have lost jobs, or had to close down businesses. I recently helped some close friends pack up their home and move to a much smaller rental because the bank was selling their foreclosure on Monday. So sad. He was a builder/contractor. That market has come to a halt. They have lost their home, their cars and had to sell whatever was left to try and make a fresh start. He is now doing odd jobs where ever he can find a little work. Life has changed drastically for them over the last 2 years.
Now, don't get me wrong. As bad as I feel for this couple, I am AGAINST living in debt. The last 2 years is exactly why. If you own everything you have, nobody can take it from you. With that said, where do we go from here?
First of all, don't give up hope. It's not over until you are under (6 ft that is). As hard as it is to lose all that stuff, that's all it really is - stuff. My grandparents spent their whole lives collecting stuff. More stuff than you can possible imagine. When they passed away, we had - guess what? A whole house full of stuff. That stuff meant the world to them. Now they were gone and to us - it was still just stuff. My point? It's just stuff - don't sweat it.
One of the biggest problems people have who have lost everything is humulity. They are embarrassed and ashamed that they have allowed their lives to get to this. We must not live in the past. You have to move forward. My husband, who has lived a pretty wild life back in his day, is not ashamed of the choices he made. He says those are the things he had to go through to turn him into the person he is today. This is so true. The struggles you go through today are only making you stronger.
Until next week - Hold your head up high and lets get through this.
Because people could no longer afford to splurge on longer trips, and cash was tighter for most, the economy also began to feel the pinch. Just a little at first, but even after gas prices began to drop back down to "OK, this is much better", we started to see the effects. The price of food began to rise. Who remembers paying $7 for a bottle of cooking oil?
Then the worst. The layoffs began . Factories and businesses started shutting down their doors, leaving families scambling for work. Breadwinners laid off from jobs where they were already struggling to make ends meet. Unemployment lines so long, the employees there could not keep up with the demand, causing checks to be months and months away. Home foreclosures started to become a daily occurance. People were losing everything very quickly.
This has hit me very close to home, as I am sure it has for alot of us. Many of my friends have lost jobs, or had to close down businesses. I recently helped some close friends pack up their home and move to a much smaller rental because the bank was selling their foreclosure on Monday. So sad. He was a builder/contractor. That market has come to a halt. They have lost their home, their cars and had to sell whatever was left to try and make a fresh start. He is now doing odd jobs where ever he can find a little work. Life has changed drastically for them over the last 2 years.
Now, don't get me wrong. As bad as I feel for this couple, I am AGAINST living in debt. The last 2 years is exactly why. If you own everything you have, nobody can take it from you. With that said, where do we go from here?
First of all, don't give up hope. It's not over until you are under (6 ft that is). As hard as it is to lose all that stuff, that's all it really is - stuff. My grandparents spent their whole lives collecting stuff. More stuff than you can possible imagine. When they passed away, we had - guess what? A whole house full of stuff. That stuff meant the world to them. Now they were gone and to us - it was still just stuff. My point? It's just stuff - don't sweat it.
One of the biggest problems people have who have lost everything is humulity. They are embarrassed and ashamed that they have allowed their lives to get to this. We must not live in the past. You have to move forward. My husband, who has lived a pretty wild life back in his day, is not ashamed of the choices he made. He says those are the things he had to go through to turn him into the person he is today. This is so true. The struggles you go through today are only making you stronger.
Until next week - Hold your head up high and lets get through this.
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